I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
