five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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