so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
