i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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