We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
