I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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