At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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