Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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