In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
