I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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