You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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