You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm bleeding and have questions
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
