I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
