There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
that is very illegal...i love you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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