AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
