and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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