Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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