Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
