She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
