You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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