just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
