it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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