Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
