Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
