dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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