Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
