I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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