The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
