Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
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