How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
