you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
