yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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