Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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