The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
