It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
