it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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