You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
