yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
