She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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