he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
