i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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