youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
