No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
