The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
