We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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