Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
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