I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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