i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
