I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
