you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
