if you like me you must not know who I am
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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